


I don't mind

by voidstonem



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - Group Home, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Orphans, Angst, Broken Boys, Broken dreamies, Donghyuck is suffering as usual, Flashbacks, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Heavy Themes, Hurt/Comfort, Jaemin is very sexual oops, M/M, Major Character Injury, Mark is trying to fix Donghyuck, NCT Dream as orphans in a group home, Nightmares, Not for the faint of heart, Other members show up later, Past Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Renjun be acting like a mom, Selectively mute!Jeno, Smoking, Vomiting, Whump, more tags to come
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-06-13
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:47:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23554795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/voidstonem/pseuds/voidstonem
Summary: After a traumatic incident at his former foster home, Mark is relocated to a group home in Seoul. He doesn't expect to feel so drawn to a certain soft-looking boy with sun-kissed skin.orDonghyuck is being abused by his foster father, and Mark won't stand for it.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin, onesided!renhyuck
Comments: 19
Kudos: 157





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone, I'm back with yet another angsty Markhyuck mess! I personally think this is going to be one of my best works, but only time will tell. Thank you so much for all of the support on my previous works, and I hope you guys enjoy this one!
> 
> Also, please read the title of this work in Suho's voice in Exo's "Lucky One." Just do it.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING:  
> This chapter features a few mentions of past non-consensual touching. If this is upsetting to you, please do not proceed. I want all of my beautiful readers, you included, to stay safe.

_Even the door is intimidating_ , he thinks as he examines the crooked, paint-chipped door in front of him.

Mark is standing in front of what is, quite possibly, the grayest house in all of Seoul. He’s been standing there for what felt like an hour, but was probably only five minutes. The social worker forced to accompany him had mumbled something about "late" and "meeting" before driving off minutes before. His clothes are completely soaked; it has been raining perpetually since the crack of dawn. His lone suitcase feels like it’s getting heavier with each freezing raindrop he feels collide with his skin. 

When he was told he was being relocated to a group home in Seoul, Mark thought he might finally be fortunate enough to live somewhere he could feel safe. 

However, a new home meant a new school and Mark wasn't very good at making friends. 

He forces himself to shove all of these anxiety-provoking thoughts to the back of his head. It would be dark soon, the low glow of the street lamps around him can tell him that much. The porch is littered with a few scattered cigarette butts, and there’s a half-full cup of black coffee sitting next to a tattered lawn chair.

Mark likes to think of himself as a glass half-full kind of guy, but the torn doormat and chipping paint are doing their best to prove him wrong. He just hopes things would be better here. He can’t afford to be "thrown" out of another foster home. Pretty soon, they'll toss him into juvie just to get rid of him. 

The cold is finally getting to him and, at this point, he figures he might as well get it over with. He can stand alone in the rain wallowing in self pity, or he can find some goddamn courage and try to make the best of the situation, no matter how shitty things were beginning to look. In the end, the latter won out (though his decision may have had something to do with the fact that he could no longer feel his toes). 

He gives the door a swift knock only to have it yanked open a moment later by a remarkably tall blond-haired boy wearing an oversized black hoodie.

"Jisung, what did I tell you about answering the door?"

The blond-haired boy—Jisung—shies away from the door to reveal a smaller boy wearing a turtle-neck.

"My name is Renjun. We've been expecting you," says the newcomer. He has straight black hair that falls into his eyes, giving him a devil-may-care kind of look. Renjun beckons him into the house, and Mark reluctantly forces himself to put one foot in front of the other. 

The inside of the house, Mark has to admit, is nicer than he thought it would be. There’s a comfortable looking couch to his left and a large dining table that can fit at least eight people to his right. 

Renjun, who is apparently accustomed to skinship, puts his arm around Mark's shoulder and leads him to the living room. There are three other boys surrounding a card table playing what looks a lot like… _strip poker?_

Jisung is the only boy who is currently fully clothed, besides Renjun. A muscly looking boy with black hair is completely shirtless on the couch. A third boy with faded pink hair and a cigarette dangling from his lips is scantily clad in nothing but a pair of black boxers beside him.

Mark has been in so many foster homes that none of this really surprises him, but he still feels rather uncomfortable. Renjun sits him down on the couch and points at each boy in turn.

"That's Jisung. He's our youngest, but I guess you already met him," says Renjun, pointing at the blond boy. Jisung gives him a shy smile before diverting his eyes back to the floor. Renjun continues, pointing to the pink haired boy, "That's Jaemin, and the pouty one with the black hair is Jeno."

Both Jisung and Jaemin smirk at the comment, but Jeno just rolls his eyes defeatedly. 

"Let’s get this straight—" starts Renjun, but he’s interrupted by a half-stifled laugh from Jaemin.

"There’s nothing straight about any of this, hyung," laughs Jaemin, gesturing at the half-naked Jeno and then back at his own bare body. Renjun rolls his eyes.

Mark did not expect his new housemates to also be gay, but he’s glad that this at least means they aren’t homophobic. That’s already a step up from his last “home.” To be quite honest, though, Mark isn’t sure he’ll ever be able to be intimate with another man after what happened at his previous place.

"Anyway, Mr. Choi is the name of the bastard who owns this place. He gets a sum from the government every month for ‘taking care’ of us. He usually blows it on booze, so I pretty much carry the family. He's decent to us, usually, but stay on his good side. If you piss him off too much, you'll end up looking like Donghyuck," continues Renjun.

Mark doesn’t have the chance to ask Renjun what the hell that is supposed to mean because Renjun immediately grabs his wrist and begins leading him upstairs. With every step, dust particles are whisked into the air. Renjun stops outside of a poorly whitewashed door and sighs sadly.

"This is your room. You'll be sharing with Donghyuck. Make yourself at home," whispers Renjun.

Before Mark can ask why he’s whispering, Renjun nods his head towards the door and starts back downstairs. Mark hesitantly gives the door the slightest of pushes and steps inside. 

On the far side of the room, a boy appears to be fast asleep in his bed. With a closer look, Mark can see that the boy has soft-looking brown hair and plump pink lips. 

Wait—something isn't right here. The boy’s bottom lip is more swollen than it should be and there’s an angry purple bruise underneath his right eye. The boy’s breathing is shallow and pained, but the sereneness of his expression makes him look almost angelic. 

His roommate is equal parts beautiful and equal parts bloodied. 

Mark feels bile rise in his throat as all of the pieces begin to fall into place. This place is no different than his previous home, he thinks. Back in Daegu, Mark had been the target. Mark had been the weak one out. He can still feel the callous hands of his former foster father roaming around his body invasively. 

Here, though, Donghyuck is the unfortunate one. Donghyuck is Mr. Choi’s target. 

Mark selfishly thinks he might lose his mind if he has to watch someone go through the same sick abuse he went through. Mark's heart breaks for Donghyuck. He doesn’t even know this boy. He doesn’t know a thing about him. 

Mark shakes his head in frustration. No, he _does_ know this boy. This boy is just like him.

He could run, but he'd probably be sent to juvie. Could juvie possibly be worse than this? He doesn’t think he wants to find out.

Mark sets his suitcase on the floor and climbs into the unclaimed bed. He should take off his wet clothes, but he can’t find the motivation to. 

He feels hatred for Mr. Choi boiling in his blood. Why are so many foster parents abusive? He could act out, but that would probably earn him a good beating himself. How are the rest of the boys so unfazed by this? Are they really that used to this bullshit? There has to be something going on.

Mark damn near cries himself to sleep that night. 

~

He wakes up the next morning to an empty bedroom. The faint scent of bacon wafting through the air tells him someone must be making breakfast. It takes Mark a few seconds to register where he is. 

He’s in Seoul now. Mr. Kim can’t hurt him here. 

Mark climbs out of bed and makes his way downstairs. All of the boys are already sitting at the massive dining room table. Renjun has an uncomfortable look on his face as he gestures for Mark to sit beside him. Jaemin and Jisung are giggling about something to his right and Jeno is sitting on the other side of Renjun, staring at the floor. 

Donghyuck is sitting to the left of Jeno, looking as if he might throw up at any moment. There’s a look of subdued pain etched onto his features and he has an arm wrapped firmly around his stomach. If Mark didn't know any better, he'd say it looked as if his roommate was trying to keep his insides from spilling out.

Mark leans in towards Renjun and whispers, "Shouldn't someone take Donghyuck to the hospital?"

Renjun visibly flinches, "He isn't coughing up blood like last time."

The calmness of his tone makes Mark feel sick yet again. 

Renjun nods his head towards the elephant in the room. A man who looks to be in his late thirties is standing across the room leaning over the stove. This had to be Mr. Choi. The man turns around holding plates full of food. He has kind features, but there’s something shining in his eyes that warns of danger. Mr. Choi sets a plate in front of Mark and gives him a wide, fake smile. 

"Lee Mark, right? I trust the boys have given you the grand tour. I am Mr. Choi, your new foster father. I hope you can make yourself at home here."

Mark returns the smile forcefully, "Thank you, sir."

Mr. Choi continues doling out plates of food. He sets a plate in front of Renjun, and then Jeno, and then Jisung, and finally Jaemin.

Donghyuck doesn’t get a plate. In fact, it’s like he isn’t even there.

Something clicks in Mark’s mind, and he realizes Mr. Choi had made breakfast for everyone except Donghyuck. 

No one seems surprised. This probably happens all the time. 

Donghyuck keeps his eyes glued to the floor.

None of the other boys are really eating. They’re picking at the fried eggs and bacon and pushing the rice around their plates aimlessly.

"Well, boys, I'm off to work now. I'll be home later tonight. Please be sure to do the dishes," says Mr. Choi suddenly. He picks a briefcase up off the floor and grabs a black jacket from the coat rack beside the front door. 

The second the door closes behind him, Renjun springs up from his chair. Jeno disappears down the hall and Jisung whispers something to Donghyuck. Jaemin grabs a bag of frozen peas from the freezer as Renjun begins scraping food off of his own plate onto a clean one. Jeno returns with a bottle of painkillers as Jaemins holds the frozen vegetables to Donghyuck's swollen eye. 

Thirty seconds later, all the boys are back in their seats eating their breakfast. Jisung plops a piece of bacon from his own plate onto Donghyuck's makeshift one. 

Mark simply turns his head towards Renjun and raises his eyebrows in an inquisitive manner. 

"Mr. Choi is a sick, sadistic piece of shit sometimes," explains Renjun. The rest of the boys nod in agreement. "He usually spares Donghyuck's face so it doesn't raise suspicion at school, but since it's the weekend..." Renjun trails off, "Like I said before, just try to stay on his good side." 

Mark nods slowly and starts eating his breakfast. The meal continues in silence with the only sounds coming from the scraping of forks against plates.

When they’re all finished, each boy hands their empty plates to Jeno, who takes them to the sink and starts washing them. Mark watches as Jaemin hoists Donghyuck up and slides one of his arms around his own shoulder. He helps Donghyuck to the couch in the living room as Jisung slips back to his bedroom. Renjun snatches the abandoned bag of frozen vegetables off of the table and follows Jaemin. On his way back upstairs, Mark peaks his head through the entrance to the living room to check on Donghyuck. 

Donghyuck is sitting up on the couch with his shirt pulled off. Renjun appears to be crouching in front of him, examining the injuries. 

Donghyuck's abdomen is harshly blackened. Mark figures the worst of the pain must be coming from his stomach since Donghyuck has his eyes shut tightly as Renjun sweeps a gentle hand across the bruises and traces his ribs with his thumb. 

Mark decides right then and there that he needs to help Donghyuck. He needs to help Donghyuck because _no one_ deserves this. He doesn’t know what Donghyuck did to piss Mr. Choi off and, frankly, he doesn’t care. No one deserves this kind of treatment. Especially not someone as beautiful and soft-looking as Donghyuck.

He needs to do something. He just has to.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> helloooo, I am back. Again, please pay attention to the tags and do not read this is you think anything in the tags will trigger you.
> 
> I also made a really great playlist for this fic, which you can find here: [I don't mind playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3Kq9m7jcT0S6XzUnsBRb1U?si=X2AX85jNSB2yUE-O_BhFNQ)
> 
> Thank you for reading!

Mark tries to come up with a plan to help Donghyuck as he climbs the stairs hopelessly. The scene at breakfast had been quite disturbing, though it did warm his heart to see the other boys act so compassionately towards Donghyuck. Hell, Mark’s only been here for fourteen hours (he was probably asleep for most of them, though) and he’s already overwhelmed.

He just needs to talk to him. He needs to let him know _he’s there for him._

Mark slips into his new room once again and takes a seat on his bed. This _is_ Donghyuck’s room, too, so the boy has to return at some point. Right?

With the sunlight pouring through the window beside Donghyuck’s bed, Mark is able to actually take in the state of his new room.

It’s definitely larger than his last room. That much is obvious. The paint on the walls is an ugly, sickly, pale green color. The bedspread on Donghyuck’s bed is identical to the one on his own. It’s a plain offwhite color that screams _hospital_ , but he already likes it a lot better than the one he had at his previous foster home. At least this one doesn’t have any gruesome memories stained on it.

The door creaks a bit, and Mark’s heart jumps into his throat.

To his surprise, it’s not Donghyuck that’s slid into his room.

It’s Renjun.

The day has barely begun and Renjun already looks fucking exhausted.

“Can I talk to you for a minute?” asks Renjun slowly.

He’s actually glad Renjun approached him first. Mark doesn’t even know where the bathroom is. He has no idea what is going on or how things work here and, frankly, it’s stressing him out.

“Yeah, of course.”

Renjun gestures for Mark to get up and follow him. He leads Mark down the hallway to yet another poorly whitewashed door that Mark assumes leads to his bedroom.

Renjun’s room is almost identical to the one Mark shares with Donghyuck. The only difference Mark makes out right away is the presence of another one of his housemates, Jaemin.

Jaemin is lounging on the window sill on the far side of the room. Once again, there’s a cigarette hanging from his lips. The window is cracked open, and Mark watches as Jaemin leans forward and blows a stream of smoke through the window’s screen.

“Jaem, can you give us a second?” says Renjun.

Jaemin turns his head towards the two of them. Mark watches silently as his eyes travel from Renjun over to his own face. Then, he hops down from the window sill with a huff. 

“Yes, _hyung_ ,” says Jaemin. Before exiting the room, Jaemin grabs not one, but _two_ full cups of black coffee off of his nightstand.

Renjun shuts the door behind him.

“Sorry about him. He’s, uh, well, he’s Jaemin. That’s just how he is.”

Mark just shrugs. If filling his lungs with smoke is how Jaemin gets through whatever the hell he’s going through, so be it. At least he’s not hurting anyone. Well, anyone but himself.

Renjun sits down on his bed and gestures for Mark to sit beside him.

“I would’ve warned you, I swear. I didn’t think Choi would pull something like that right in front of you. Not so soon, at least.”

Mark is growing impatient.

“Renjun, what the hell is going on here?”

Renjun takes a deep breath. 

“Jaemin and I were placed here together three years ago. Jeno came a few months later. Then, Jisung. We got Donghyuck just under a year ago.” 

Renjun pauses before continuing.

“I’ll say what I can, but it’s not really my place to tell you Donghyuck’s life story. I just need you to know a few things.”

Mark nods. Sure, he’s curious as hell, but he’s glad Renjun is respecting Donghyuck’s privacy. Mark wouldn’t want everyone going around and telling his secrets either.

“He’s okay,” Renjun continues, “and we’re doing what we can to help him. He insists that we don’t intervene when Choi goes off on him. He doesn’t want any of us to get hurt because of him. When Donghyuck first got here, we tried to get him to go to the police. He won’t do it, though. Donghyuck doesn’t have a clean record and he thinks they’ll send him, or all of us, to juvie if they haul Choi off to jail.”

It’s a lot for Mark to take in. So, Mr. Choi is abusive and violent towards Donghyuck, but not the others. And he refuses to go to the police. All because he doesn’t want to go to juvie?

Renjun must be able to read the puzzled look on his face because he continues.

“Donghyuck was in juvie before this. Something...something happened to him there. Something bad. He’d rather take beatings from Choi than go to another juvenile detention center. Now, Choi just kind of pretends he doesn’t exist. Unless he feels like beating on him or something.”

Or _something._

“Or something?” asks Mark weakly. He knows he shouldn’t pry, but he has to know. If Donghyuck is being taken advantage of, he has to know.

Renjun shrugs, “One time Donghyuck was out late and Choi locked the door. He had to sleep on the porch.”

Mark knows he shouldn’t feel overwhelming relief take over his body at Renjun’s words, but can’t help it. Mr. Choi is abusive, but he’s not a rapist. Mark can deal with an aggressive foster father. He can’t deal with another rapist, though.

There’s a question, no, two questions, still lingering on Mark’s tongue, though, but he’s not sure he should ask them. In the end, his curiosity wins out.

“Renjun, what happened to him in juvie? And...why is Choi targeting him specifically?”

Renjun looks at the floor for a few seconds before shaking his head.

“Like I said before, it’s not my place to say. He’ll tell you when he’s ready. Just...keep an eye out for him, yeah? He’s strong, but he’s been through a lot,” finishes Renjun.

Mark nods solemnly. He knows the feeling.

“Could you show me around a bit? I’m dying to take a shower,” says Mark. He needs a break.

Renjun almost looks relieved that Mark changed the subject.

“Yeah, of course, hyung. Come on,” Renjun replies.

Renjun leads him out of the room and down the hall to the bathroom. The door is closed, however, so Renjun raises his fist to give it a knock. Mark has to grab onto his wrist to stop him from doing so. He wants his new housemates to like him. Kicking one of them out of the bathroom is not how he’s going to gain their respect.

“I can wait, Renjun. You don’t have to—”

Before Mark can finish his sentence, the sound of a muffled moan meets his ears. He glances at Renjun, and the look on the younger boy’s face confirms that he had heard it too. The sound clearly came from the bathroom.

“Oh my _god_ , Jaemin, can you _please_ suck Jeno off somewhere else? We all have to share this bathroom! For fucks sake…” yells Renjun, rapping his fists against the bathroom door.

A few seconds later, Jeno opens the door gently and gives them an apologetic look. Jaemin is right behind him, his lips swollen and pink.

“Sorry, hyung. We got a little carried away,” says Jaemin as he leads Jeno down the hall and into his room. 

Mark swears he sees Jaemin shoot him a wink on the way past and he feels heat rising in his cheeks as a result.

Renjun looks exasperated. 

“Just, uh, I don’t know. I don’t really have an explanation for this. Those two are disgusting. Have a nice shower, hyung,” says Renjun before walking away.

Mark glances at the clock on the hallway wall before slipping into the bathroom. 

It isn’t even noon yet and he already feels overwhelmed. On the bright side, there’s a bottle of watermelon scented body wash on the counter. He will _definitely_ be using that.

~

To Mark’s relief, the rest of the day goes by rather quickly. 

Jisung whines because it’s pouring rain outside, which means he can’t walk to the boba shop. Jaemin tells him to quit being a baby, which gets him a smack on the arm from Jeno. Renjun lets Jisung choose a move for them all to watch. 

When they all settle down to watch Jisung’s pick (it just so happens to be _Spiderman: Homecoming_ , which is one of Mark’s favorites), Donghyuck sits beside him on the couch. 

And Donghyuck is so, so pretty. Up close, Mark notices details about Donghyuck he didn’t see before. His skin is a warm honey-like shade and his chocolate-brown hair is just _slightly_ wavy. He even shaved a small slit in his left eyebrow, which Mark thinks looks very good on him.

Donghyuck remains silent for most of the movie. The moment it ends, though, he turns to face Mark.

“I’m sorry I didn’t introduce myself earlier. I’m Donghyuck,” he says, holding out his hand.

 _Oh_ , Mark thinks, _so his voice is like honey too._

Mark takes Donghyuck’s hand in his own and gives it a gentle shake. 

“I’m Mark,” he says and, fuck, this is awkward. His eyes wander to a dark bruise on Donghyuck’s wrist, but the younger boy pulls his hand back before Mark can comment on it. 

Donghyuck grabs Jaemin’s pack of cigarettes off the coffee table and pops one between his lips. He gestures at a lighter on the other side of the table nods towards Mark.

“Can you give me a light?” he asks.

Mark complies, snatching the lighter and bringing it level with the cigarette hanging from Donghyuck’s soft lips.

He lights his roommate’s cigarette and look’s straight into his eyes as he does so. 

Donghyuck looks right back at him. His eyes are a deep, warm brown that makes them pop against the whites. Mark can see a plethora of emotions shining back at him in them. Excitement, fear, love, pain. It’s all there, right in Donghyuck’s eyes.

The younger boy takes a long drag from his cigarette. He turns his head to the side and blows out a stream of smoke before bringing his eyes back to Mark’s.

“Well, Mark, welcome to paradise,” Donghyuck half-laughs before rising from the couch and walking to the kitchen.

Right then and there, Mark realizes that Donghyuck is going to be the death of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments keep me motivated!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another! Please be sure to read the tags. I'm sorry it took me so long to update! Love you guysss.

Mark just kind of sits there for a moment, alone on the couch. The rest of his housemates follow Donghyuck to the kitchen, but Mark finds himself feeling frozen. There’s _something_ about Donghyuck that he just can’t place. His eyes are weathered with trauma, but his attitude is just so _chill_. He seems a little too content with everything, given the situation. Maybe he’s just optimistic.

Mark shakes his head. He’s making too many assumptions. He doesn’t know Donghyuck. He doesn’t know _anything_ about him other than the fact that he was in juvie before he came here.

When he’s fully recovered from his interaction with Donghyuck, he rises from the couch and makes his way to the kitchen. He selfishly hopes his housemates are making dinner because, fuck, he could really use something to eat right now.

When Mark enters the kitchen, he sees Jaemin slaving over a massive pot of ramen. Jeno is close behind him with his arms wrapped affectionately around Jaemin’s waist as he stirs the pot. The food smells absolutely _amazing._ Mark wasn’t expecting the other boys to have very advanced culinary skills because he himself is probably the worst cook on the face of the planet. He supposes not every teenage boy was cursed with the inability to make anything more complicated than a fried egg like he was. 

Renjun gestures to the open seat next to him at the table when he sees Mark standing awkwardly at the kitchen’s entryway. 

“Nice of you to join us,” says Renjun teasingly. He hands Mark a glass of water.

“Thanks,” he replies, gratefully taking the glass from Renjun’s hands. He takes a drink of the water, but nearly spits it all over Renjun in surprise when Donghyuck starts yelling.

“Ya! Na Jaemin, focus! We’re about to collapse from starvation over here!”

Mark glances over to Jaemin and Jeno by the stove and sees that Jaemin had momentarily abandoned the pot of ramen to shove his tongue down Jeno’s throat.

Jesus.

Feeling suddenly courageous, Mark leans in towards Renjun and lowers his voice.

“What’s with them?” he whispers.

Renjun giggles before giving Mark an apologetic look.

“Jaemin is lowkey hypersexual, and they can’t show any sort of affection when Choi is here. Choi doesn’t know about them dating. He’s super homophobic and would probably, like, kill them. ”

_Oh._

That probably would have been a good thing to know before he let himself get lost in Donghyuck’s eyes.

Renjun must see the horror in Mark's eyes because he quickly continues, “Don’t sweat it, though. They’ve been together for a while. Choi doesn’t suspect a thing.”

Mark nods slowly. This place just keeps getting more and more complicated.

Jaemin suddenly sets the pot of ramen in the middle of the table, and Jeno passes out bowls and utensils for everyone. It’s quiet as everyone begins to eat, but Mark decides to break the silence with an attempt to get on Jaemin’s good side.

“This is really good, Jaemin-ah,” he says.

Jaemin doesn’t miss a beat.

“Thanks, hyung! As you saw earlier, cooking’s not the only thing I’m good at,” says Jaemin. Mark doesn’t miss how he licks his lips afterwards.

Jisung makes a gagging noise as Jeno slaps Jaemin on the thigh.  
“Jaemin, you’re scaring Mark with your horniness. Cut it out,” says Renjun sternly.

“Sorry, hyung. You know I have no filter,” says Jaemin innocently.

“You could at least try to control yourself…” mumbles Renjun.

Jaemin shrugs and places his hand on Jeno’s knee. Jisung rolls his eyes at the action.

Mark glances over at Donghyuck, who’s being awfully quiet. Donghyuck is pushing the food around in his bowl aimlessly. He appears to be staring down into his bowl of ramen, but Mark can tell he’s actually somewhere else. 

Renjun must notice, too, because he speaks up.

“You okay, Hyuck?” he says softly.

Donghyuck looks up, and Mark is surprised to see that his eyes look tired. Mark thinks there must be something on his mind that’s troubling him. The warmness that has engulfed his eyes earlier is almost completely gone.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just let my mind wander a bit too far. I feel like it’s gonna be bad tonight,” says Donghyuck slowly.

Mark tries to figure out what exactly Donghyuck means by that, but he feels like Donghyuck is speaking in some kind of code. 

Renjun winces at Donghyuck’s words before giving him a quick nod. 

No one says anything else the rest of dinner.

 _Weird,_ Mark thinks.

~

Mark helps Jaemin clean up the kitchen before retreating to his room for the night. When Mark pushes the door to his shared room with Donghyuck open, he sees his roommate leaning forward with his face poking out the open window, a cigarette hanging from his lips once again.

When Donghyuck hears Mark enter the room, he turns to face him. His eyes seem slightly glossed over, which Mark finds rather strange.

“You wanna watch the sunset with me?” asks Donghyuck when he notices Mark standing there.

It’s not like Mark is going to say no. How could he pass up a relaxing sunset-viewing session with a beautiful, honey-skinned boy like Donghyuck?

“Uh, sure,” Mark replies.

Donghyuck opens the window wider and hops up onto the sill. He gestures for Mark to follow his lead before leaning out the window and grabbing onto the awning. In one swift movement, Donghyuck pulls himself up onto the roof.

Mark isn’t too keen on heights, but he follows his roommate’s lead anyway. When they’re both situated on the roof, Donghyuck leans back and lays his head against the shingles at the base of the roof. 

Mark does the same, and he has to admit, the view is incredible. Once he’s laying flat on the roof, the sky is endless. The sun is _just_ about to set, and in a few minutes, they’ll both be engulfed in a sea of orange light.

Donghyuck rolls onto his side to face Mark.

“You ever just get stuck in your head?”

Mark knows the feeling, but something feels off here. He glances at Donghyuck. Donghyuck’s eyes are still full of countless emotions, but the pain is more prominent now. There’s something on his mind. 

Mark thinks back to this morning when Renjun told him that something horrible happened to Donghyuck in juvie. Mark has no idea what exactly happened, but he’s no stranger to trauma. 

Mark can’t help but wonder if Donghyuck is having flashbacks or something.

“Yeah. Yeah, I do,” Mark replies.

Donghyuck nods solemnly and takes a puff on his cigarette. Then, he reaches into his pocket and grabs out a new pack.

“You smoke?”

Mark nearly chokes. He has never smoked a cigarette in his life. His previous foster mom would have his head on a stick if he did.

“No, never.”

“You want to try?”

Mark glances over at Donghyuck and almost immediately regrets it. Under the sunset, Donghyuck looks almost ethereal. How can he say no?

“Fine, but just this once.”

Donghyuck laughs and tosses Mark a cigarette along with his lighter.

Mark hesitantly lights the cigarette and brings it to his lips. He kind of hopes he doesn’t like it. Smoking isn’t a habit he wants to pick up. 

Just as he’s about to take a hit, he feels Donghyuck’s hand close around his wrist.

“Wrong end, buddy.”

Mark glances at the cigarette in front of his face and almost flings himself off the roof.

_He lit the wrong fucking end of his cigarette._

Donghyuck plucks the cigarette from Mark’s fingers and tosses it off the roof.

“It’s alright. I didn’t take you for a smoker anyway,” he says.

Mark feels his cheeks heat up as a deep blush climbs his neck. 

Donghyuck must notice because he says, “Don’t be embarrassed. Renjun nearly passed out the first time he tried. He deadass almost stopped breathing. Now he refuses to ever try again. Lighting the wrong end is much more acceptable.”

Mark nods, slightly sated, “When did you start?”

Donghyuck runs his hands through his hair tiredly. 

“Smoking? I picked it up in juvie.”

Mark notes the way his voice falters slightly on the word “juvie.” 

“I know it isn’t, like, the healthiest of habits, but it helps me relax. It’s therapeutic, you know?” Donghyuck continues.

Mark just nods his head. He knows all too well how desperately one can want to numb their emotions. Especially in a situation like theirs.

“No judgment here,” Mark says. He can tell that Donghyuck is feeling off, so he decides to try to get him somewhere safer. Or, at least, off the roof, “It’s getting chilly, though. Maybe we should go back inside.”

Donghyuck sighs before nodding reluctantly.

“You’re right.” 

The moment the two of them climb back through their window, Donghyuck collapses onto his bed and falls asleep.

Mark’s mind is clouded with worry when he climbs into his own bed for the night.

~

When Mark wakes up, it’s not to the sun shining through the curtains. It’s to pitch black darkness. One glance at his phone tells him it’s nearly three in the morning. 

A second glance to his right tells him Donghyuck is not in his bed.

Shit.

Mark swings his legs over the side of the mattress. Where the hell is Donghyuck?

Just as he’s about to stand up, he hears the unmistakable sounds of retching coming from across the hall. 

Now _that_ can’t be good.

He grabs his glass of water from his nightstand and trudges through the dark hallway, following the noise. As he approaches the bathroom, he hears Renjun’s voice speaking in a low, soothing tone.

“...okay, you’re okay. I’m right here. I’m not going to hurt you.”

Mark walks a little faster.

When he makes it to the bathroom, he sees that the door is wide open. He doesn’t hesitate to peak his head around the doorframe to assess the situation.

Donghyuck is kneeling in front of the toilet with his forehead resting against the seat. He’s breathing heavily, and the look on his face displays a mixture of disgust, shame, and fear. Renjun is kneeling next to him with his back facing Mark.

Donghyuck gags drily before pushing himself away from the toilet and leaning his back against the bathtub. He looks right at Mark, then, and sighs. And, fuck, here are _tears_ running down his face.

“Hey,” he says with a hoarse voice.

Renjun whips around at Donghyuck’s greeting and lets out a sigh of relief when he sees that it’s just Mark. He raises his hand and beckons Mark to enter.

Slowly, Mark walks into the bathroom. He wouldn’t necessarily call himself squeamish, but he definitely doesn’t like vomit. But, then again, does anyone?

“You okay?” asks Mark softly.

Donghyuck takes a deep breath.

“Peachy,” he says.

“He had a nightmare,” says Renjun, “A bad one.”

With that, Donghyuck pitches forward and grabs onto the toilet seat again, vomiting into the bowl.

Mark winces. What a fucking mess this is.

“He’s okay, he just needs to get back to sleep,” continues Renjun, who seems completely unfazed by the situation.

Before he can stop himself, there are words tumbling out of Mark’s mouth.

“I can take him back to our room and get him back to bed,” he says.

Renjun looks at him with grateful, tired eyes, “Really? That would be great! I’ve been up with him for an hour.”

“I’m not an invalid,” argues Donghyuck. His voice is scratchy and pitiful.

“Yeah okay, pukey. Just go with Mark, okay? You need to rest,” Renjun teases. His voice is laced with endearment, though.

With that, Renjun gets up and makes his way towards the door.

“Thanks Mark,” he says and then, he’s gone.

Mark reminds himself that he needs to think before he speaks because now he has to get his emotionally traumatized roommate that he’s known for, like, eight hours to go back to sleep. 

He decides his first move should _probably_ be to get rid of the god-awful smell in the room. So, he kneels down next to Donghyuck and flushes the toilet. Then, he hands Donghyuck the glass of water he’s been awkwardly holding for the past few minutes.

When Mark extends the glass towards Donghyuck’s slumped figure, Donghyuck opens his mouth.

“You don’t have to help me,” he mutters weakly.

“I don’t mind. Really,” Mark replies. 

Reluctantly, Donghyuck takes the glass. Mark is kneeling next to a boy who is not only pretty severely beaten, but sick as well. He is fully aware of the effects bad nightmares can have on your body, and he’s not about to leave Donghyuck to suffer by himself. 

“Thanks,” says Donghyuck.

Mark helps him to his feet. Shakily, Donghyuck washes his hands and wipes his face with a washcloth. Then, the two of them slowly head back to their bedroom.

When they’re both finally back into their respective beds, Mark speaks again.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Silence.

“No. I can’t relive it again. Not tonight,” whispers Donghyuck.

And Mark’s heart breaks for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My fics are all so similar I can't...
> 
> please leave me feedback lmao

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Please leave me some feedback :)


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